We've found paradise. Our team's ministry time in Candelaria, Nicaragua has come to an end and we're spending today and tomorrow with our hosts in and around Granada before our flight to Guatemala on Sunday. We've been truly blessed during our month in Nicaragua and some quality time being together its beauty is simply breathtaking.
Really? Thanks for being here, God!
I'm typing this now on our patio outside of our room. The air is cool and still. I can hear the chirp of bugs, the team downstairs, and Lindsey with her piccolo in the backyard. The diamond-like stars are out tonight and every now and then you can see lightning in the distance. Before the sun went down we could see the entirety of the lake we're staying on that's walled in by mountains and volcanos. God is a master artist.
His designs are perfect and His love is unending. He chose each of us to be a part of these two months in Central America. Each for different reasons that we're still trying to figure out. But His intentions are pure and His calling is holy. He wants us!
Humbled each day, I am grateful for the chance to walk, trip, and leap on the path God has for me. I've learned so much in the few short weeks I've been leading these girls. More of myself has to die to the Holy Spirits leading. More of my pride and control need to be laid down before His thrown. I knew I couldn't do this alone. Yet, I've been more frustrated that ever trying to put those small words into practice.
During training camp all God repeated to me was, "I want them. I want them. I want them." God wants these girls. They are His. They've never been mine to lead.
Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers-not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.
1 Peter 5: 2, 3
He LOVES His children SO much. And I've only just begun to live that over the past year. I've been exhausted and running on fumes occasionally this past month because I NEED Him. 'Cause I can't love on my own. For such a time as this, these young women deserve to know/live His love.
Just some of my thoughts. I'm doing really well - and do enjoy the Lord's pressing and teaching into my life. I'll miss the friends we met in Nicaragua and hope to return again some day. This is a picture of me and Johanna. I met her last year and she was terribly sad to see me leave again. She said she'll remember how I liked avocados and flowers.
Thanks, God, for being in the details. Thanks for being here!
Hey! God is SOOO good! Though my immediate family was all married by 23...I'm nearly 24 1/2 and single and pretty pumped about the road God's taken me on!! I'm beautiful and worth the wait. I'm in a great content place and my heart is peacefully whole. So, even our team here in Nicaragua had a singles party last night to celebrate :) I've written bits and pieces about this topic but I liked the wisdom and truth that I read from Seth today. Thought some of the other single ladies might as well...
Karen and I have four daughters between the ages of 20 and 25.
They are entering the stage of looking more intentionally for a life
partner. Serious business. I'm not always invited to the conversation
and I'm cool with that - they need their space. At some point when they
make their final decision, they all know the guy has to come seeking my
permission/blessing. We're playing for keeps here.
My daughters have a multitude of friends in the same boat as them.
And we've got hundreds of young, single women on the World Race, some
of whom feel like spiritual daughters to me by the time they finish. I
look at them with great pride and want nothing more than to see them
matched up with a man who will see them as the prize they are. Mostly
I wonder if I have anything of value to say to them about this issue of
"finding the right guy."
However, as a guy, I do have a few words that might help them
better understand where guys are coming from. So I decided to write
this letter:
Dear ladies,
By now I trust you've figured out that guys are pretty
uncomplicated. The picture above says it all. We basically want food
and we want to not embarrass ourselves too badly as we try to manage
our libido. If one of us tells you he loves you, basically what he
means is, "I think you can help me meet these two needs of mine."
Yes, we periodically get our act together and put on a good show,
but I estimate that 95% of all guys in their 20's, if they were being
gut-level honest with you, would admit that this is true. It doesn't
mean that we can't eventually be trained to be different, but that is
how we start out.
Therefore, NEVER trust a guy's motivations when he says he loves
you. Your job is not to get him to say "I love you" - hey, we're taught
to say that as a part of the mating dance humans do! Even birds do better than that!
Your job is to figure out, "Does this guy, who looks hot on the
outside, but on the inside understands as much about me as my pet
hamster, have the capacity to make a concerted multi-year effort to try
and learn about me? Will he always be one step up from a Neanderthal?"
Because it truly will take many years before he begins to stop looking
at you through the lens of his two basic needs.
I'm sorry to have to break the news to you in this way. God set it
up this way so that we would be perpetually motivated to try and please
you women.
However, this fact of life is what makes the job of trying to find
the right guy so difficult. You can't trust what your guy says because
he has no track record of understanding a woman, let alone putting that
woman's needs first. Whatever he says, he only ultimately wants to meet
his two needs. I personally know there are some wonderful Spirit-filled
guys out there, but there are few exceptions to this rule. I'm always
skeptical when a woman tells me she's found one.
And complicating your task, you may well feel as though you don't even
understand or trust yourself too well.
So, I hear some of you asking, "How can I
figure out the fit with any guy I like?" No easy answers. I'm just
trying to help you get closer to reality. Let me offer you a tool in
hopes that it will help. What I suggest is that you apply Maslow's
Hierarchy of Needs (MHN) to your situation.
MHN states that people are motivated to meet needs. Once you meet
the basic physical needs, you can move on to higher level needs like belonging and self-esteem.
As I made clear, most guys live in the basement of this diagram. And
the trade that they propose to you when they say "I love you," is this:
You meet my physical needs, and I will meet yours (i.e. provide for and
protect you)."
If this is enough for you, then God bless you, go for it. But for
most women it is not enough. They want the higher needs too: They want
to belong to a tribe and they want to feel good about their
contribution in life. Can your man commit to subordinating his needs
long enough to listen to your heart? For example, if you have a heart
for orphans, will he set aside his comfort or aspirations to listen to
what your heart is saying? If you have a heart for adventure, will he
regularly encourage you to go on adventures, or will he, having
satisfied his own two needs, leave you frustrated?
Then there is the need for self-actualization. Let me
tell you, the men who will actually take the risks necessary to support
your dreams are rare indeed. They may want to help you, but chances
are, they are uninitiated and never learned how to take a proper risk.
A few guys love their women to that degree and I bless them. They are a
credit to the species.
I guess the bottom line of what I'm say is this: Don't settle. You
are worth it. Your dreams are worth it. And somewhere out there, for
many of you, God has a guy who, with a little work, is worth it.
Falling in love with God's people is kinda what we do. We are told to love earnestly with a pure heart. Earnestly - showing sincere and intense conviction. We want to get past the "Hello" and "How do you do?" - or in the present circumstance - "Hola" y "Come estas?" The Lord made and loves community. He designed the Body to grow and live and be together. God gives us more than divine intimacy with Him while we're here on earth. He offers the gift of being intricately connected with other people and believers around the world.
I was thinking about this just the other day. It's great! One of the best things I've received the past 2 years as I've grown is a better appreciation and understanding of community and loving others.
But we leave.
11 months on the World Race you fall for and leave 11 different sets of contacts, friends, and places. It's hard. Throughout the 10 months I've been back in the states the trend kinda continued. I started in Michigan before moving to Georgia but ended up traveling all over again anyway. I don't think I had an entire month where I would stay in one single state. I was in and out. Even though each time I spent with friends - whether it be a week serving at training camp or an hour talking in a parking lot - was its own divine appointment, it was hard. Because eventually I had to leave.
And I'm doing it again. In 16 days our team will leave the people of Candelaria, Nicaragua to begin new ministry in Guatemala till the end of July. We love it here. And deep within me I was thinking of how I could prepare myself for the next 6 months of my life which will include a lot of loving and leaving once again. It hurts. So, why?
I shared this with my girls the other day and Rebekah returned to me later with some hope and truth.
Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus. [Philippians 1:3-8]
She explained how she could read Paul's words saying, "It's OK. We're going to miss people." This comforted my heart a bit seeing how Paul kinda did the same thing as we are - traveling and going where the Lord leads while intentionally loving people along the way without reserve.
What did Paul do about it? Rebekah continued to break it down for me: he wrote them, thanked God for them, prayed for them, encouraged them, shared life with them, and kept up with them. Paul developed lasting relationships with them for the advancement of the Kingdom.
Just because we are away from family and friends doesn't make them less of who they are in our lives. Through prayers and encouragement and blessings I try to remind people of the amazing ways they've inspired and touched my life. The same continues with the smiles I've met around the world. Through and in these relationships its God Who gives you a strong heart. A growing heart. Maybe that's where the difficulty and pain comes into this - they're simply growing pains as our hearts are expanding to love as Christ loves.
I'm learning a lot here. And was super glad Rebekah dove into this for me as we were trying to figure out the purpose of loving and leaving. Your thoughts?
My days leading this team have been divinely designed. I knew from the beginning - even before I was put into this position - that I couldn't do it alone. Here's are some examples of how we're radically living by simply following the voice and heart of our Father...
**Woke up to run. Muddy. An excuse to turn back over and rest some more. Opened a book to begin my time with the Lord. I'm reading some about Peter and his life following after Jesus. Good morning...still thankfully amazed that I am living this out in Nicaragua right now...
**Linda arrives at our site with a bus of 20 Americans who are expected to put on a youth event throughout the day. The leaders and interpreters pray for God's schedule.
**Rosa - an old Nicaraguan woman who is a powerful intercessor for the church there - is there that morning. After we pray as leaders Linda pull us all and the other American team to pray for Rosa because she has been sick recently and has had two strokes in the past.
**As we are praying for Rosa I feel like Katie from our team should at least go with Rosa to her doctor appointment today to cover the whole situation in prayer. It ended up that Katie, Liz, and Rebekah went with Rosa to the doctor along with Diego and Evan. [Doctor visits and grocery runs fully involved in the culture kinda wrapped up their fun afternoon.]
**That morning Linda shared a word of encouragement with the American team. I sat eagerly listening and watching the youth...God gave me a word to share too and I could hardly wait...
**I had seen this guy while we were praying for Rosa. His eyes are stunning. God spoke. Discernment, and also David. I was thinking his name could be David but when I asked he said his name was Jared Alan. I encouraged him to pray into people and situations and God would give him holy and Kingdom eyes to see what others may miss. When others only see a Goliath Jared will see the bigger God that wins. Later he told me that his dad and brother were named David. His dad is a prayer leader in the church and his older brother is walking away from the Lord. What I was sharing with him confirmed some of what he had been talking about the night before. It was a blessing to share that with him.
JARED
**Re-met Kate. She works with Book of Hope and is helping to lead and coordinate this youth group from the states. We actually first met at the home of Tom and Cindy Sipling in Gordon's Bay, South Africa last year when I was on the Race.
(Kate is on the left in the blue)
**Did the dishes Nicaraguan style. I think I got laughed at in Spanish. A lot.
**At the end of a long day we enjoyed a family meal with our team and the guys. We hung out playing cards, learning Spanish, and living in community. We're choosing into each other and walking into the opportunities around us. I'm being so blessed!
When I returned the the states after 11 months of being on the World Race there was a question proposed to me many times that I wasn't expecting.
"Would you do it again?"
"Heck, no!"
I was kinda certain that my life would never include another 11 months like the ones I had just experienced. Well, for one I didn't want to knowingly go into something that intense or painful again - as wonderfully growing and beautiful as it was. And two, the World Race is designed to initiate God's people into their role in the Kingdom in this life on earth - I didn't need a second initiation. The vision God placed in my life was to raise up a generation of youth and young adults in the states. I was thinking I could stick around for a while.
The door got cracked open a few short weeks ago.
"Would you consider leading a World Race team?"
But, actually I don't think the leadership...that fantastically gifted staff of the World Race sounded quite as polite/gentle/nice when they asked me this. They're bold in the ways of the Lord...and God probably already told them I was ready for this.
It's been quick. I finished work and life - in a way - in Lilburn, Georgia on May 24. That evening I drove up to join the World Race on their third day of training camp. Literally as I was giving rounds of hugs and meeting Brian and Stacy Alonzo I was pretty much being told that they would be my co-leaders for this August 2009 World Race squad. Dude, when you say YES to the Lord...He takes you seriously and takes you for a ride!
Brian and Stacy Alonzo
<....and so, I've never really led anything before. I'm just a ragamuffin running towards the King. Broken. Humbled. and learning in faith the things I need to for each day...'cause I can't do this alone...>
Real Life Expedition Team - 2 month trip to Nicaragua and Guatemala
Rebekah, Lindsey, me, Katie and Liz on top
The past week has been crazy with WR training and leader training and Real Life training for the team I'm leaving with in 2 days. June 3 I will leave with a GREAT team of four girls. We will rock for the Kingdom as we seek miracles and adventure in Jesus' name. We'll return July 28 and I return again to join the August "K" Squad August 9...staying out with them 3-4 months.
August 2009 World Race K squad - 11 months through Europe, Middle East, Africa and Asia
One of the first squad pictures I found of them online...couldn't make it to the end of training.
There's tons more I could say about this journey. It's more than the World Race, more than short term trips, more than AIM or a program...this is Kingdom! I pray you continue to join me in this! Through pray - not just for me but for the hundreds of people, like you, that are/can grow in the Lord through His obedient disciples loving Him and loving His people today. And in any financial way of support you are being led in...$10,000 is needed throughout the next year - click here. Thank you so much for your love and kindness towards me! Bless you with power and grace to live boldly each day! Fall madly in love with the King of Kings!
We finally finished the youth wall yesterday! The youth here in Lilburn, Georgia are A-mazing! I love them a lot and will miss them while I'm away. They were the perfect help and added SO much greatness to their youth room. Check it out...
Walking into the church from the outside entrance:
What you would see on the walls of the hallway:
Entering the youth room there's this little nook:
Inside the youth room we kept it simple because of the variety of groups that use it. These are actually some of the youth:
What we wanted to put up on the walls was an expression of God alive and active in the world today. It is God who influences all areas of our lives with His love and passion. He is the same powerful and AWESOME Lord who walked with Moses and is walking in the halls of this Church and schools where these youth get to be Christ on earth.Through words, music, culture, dance, and arts this is an expression of the excitement God has for this generation that rocks out while bringing Kingdom to earth!
Before I get into what I've been up to I want you to know a great woman.
Her name is Cheryl. I work with her in the evenings coaching gymnastics. During her day job she actively and passionately serves as the executive director of a non-profit organization. "Human Development Resource Council, Inc. (HDRC) produces and internationally distributes high quality multi-media materials based on sourced and documented medical research in order to equip children, students, adults, professionals, and researchers with current scientific knowledge on the subjects of embryonic and fetal development, reproduction and abortion options, and sexual health. " Cheryl's story and faith are fully devoted to this cause despite misunderstanding and persecution that she has faced. As I was having coffee with her the other week she simply said, "There's nothing else I can do." Her obedience thrills me. Though there may be opportunities for a better paying job - one that's easier and less controversial - she faithfully stays where the Lord has called her to use her heart and gifts to change lives.
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
James 4:13-17
Since returning to the states after a crazy year around the world I've tried most everything to "get back into the swing of things"...
I moved into a house in Georgia - pleasantly and mostly rent free.
I got a part-part time job coaching - patiently teaching 5 year olds the art of the straddle jump.
Applied to every other part time job locally - currently unimpressed with online job sites.
Sent in my video to Cirque du Soleil - politely yet unfortunately turned down.
And have traveled a lot around the states - finally and happily seeing faces I've missed for a long time.
Which brings me here. I have been running around in a way. Planning my own way. The indecisive fueling power behind it has been a mix of disobedience along with exercises in trust. I just didn't want to live off of support and try the whole mission "trip" thing again. I wouldn't even entertain the idea. I thought I knew how I was going to live for God. I thought to myself that if I had spent my year out of the states to finally have a heart and hope for America I can finally settle myself here. Right?
Nope.
>>>A growing hope for this generation and pressing intimacy with my Lord has led me out again! At the end of this month I will be leading a team into Central America. Again I get to partner with Adventures in Missions and be a part of their desire of discipling and waking up a generation of Kingdom building young people. I get to! And I would love your prayers and support to be involved too! About $700 is still needed in my AIM account to help me through the next two months. Plus, great prayer support can really empower and encourage all the leaders and participants headed out into the world with AIM this summer.
Make checks payable to Adventures in Missions with my name in the memo to:
Adventures in Missions
P.O. Box 534470
Atlanta, Ga 30353-4470
May 26th I will go to Gainesville, GA for leader training at the AIM base. After the participants arrive a couple days later we will fly down to Nicaragua June 3. >>>Much more details about Central America along with other opportunities for my involvement with AIM will come when they happen. Each day seems like a new adventure instead of a merry-go-round...
There's nothing else I can do.
Love God. Love others. No boundaries included.
Our generation wants to change the world. And while that's a good thing and we should chase our dreams with reckless abandon, we need to be careful. Careful we don't get so busy our priorities inadvertently change, losing our heart or harming relationships. Careful we don't become self-relient, as that leads to isolation and pride. And careful we don't get so consumed with the thing we're doing for God, that we lose Him in the process.
Cameron Strang, founder and editor of Relevant Magazine
Through an invitation on Facebook I participated in the nationwide One Day Without Shoes campaign sponsored by tomsshoes.com. Their idea was to take a stand against the preventable deaths around the world simply because some people aren't able to have shoes. Tomsshoes.com also does this one for one thing that gives a pair of shoes to someone in need around the world with every pair of shoes purchased. Sounded pretty cool.
I wasn't able to make it to any of the concerts or festivities that the One Day had to offer, but I was rather curious about what a day without shoes would bring...so I figured why not. The first time I tried to go without shoes was the first time I went down to Swaziland. They call them "Africa feet." Tough, calloused, and well worked feet. I took my shoes off to play soccer with the kids and that only lasted about 20 minutes. They laughed. I humbly smiled back and enjoyed the moment of simply Africa.
Overall the day awakened me to the blessings I take for granted. My feet had never hurt that much before. A simple pair of shoes saves us from a lot. And from only one day barefoot I only got one piece of glass stuck in my foot. But it wasn't really the pain I got to endure or the experiential stories I could tell that kept me shoeless. It was the Swazi kids.
Those precious angels that made me smile since the first time I met them over three years ago. Last year when our World Race team was there we had the chance to clean, clothe, and provide shoes for dozens of orphans. Their faces lit up as they danced around in the dirt showing off even their brand new underwear to their friends. No joke. I love that country and all of the people there who have showed me love and life in spite of their dying physical conditions.
The world is a lot bigger than me or you. If one day without shoes helps you see that then rock on and try something new.
It's been a full day. Spent. I haven't felt like this in a very long time. The kind of exhaustion that happens to a body when you allow the Holy Spirit to fully be used through you for God's glory. You give all you have to give till there's nothing left to give.
It started out just me and God. I woke up and headed to the church to work on this youth mural I've been helping with since November...it'll get done. For a couple of solo hours I was able to talk with Daddy and listen to His heart for this youth group. I was able to take joy in how He created me and the things He's allowed me to do to further His Kingdom. It was a pretty chill morning just hanging out with the One who loves me just for me. After some busy and distracting days lately I needed some of that personal time.
Afterwards I waited for some friends to head downtown into Atlanta. See, after reading my Racing buddy's blog the other day I was fueled again with a passion to pray! I invited some people to head into the city and simply walk the streets in prayer...see what happens as we seek God's heart for Atlanta.
Whoa, and His presence followed us the whole afternoon!! An open heart, listening ear, and obedient step can allow for His glory and miraculous hand to be evident in your life!
Miracles started when the storms of the morning let up and brought us sunshine for the afternoon. As we stepped off the MARTA and got into downtown God began leading my prayers. It started with a simple pray that God may unite and activate the churches to love the city they are in. We walked on and as I learned from the Race I was listening to my bladder. I had to go pee. Dena led us to a street she was familiar with that had a gay bar she knew of. In the mid-afternoon the bar/restaurant only had a few customers. They let us in free of charge to use the bathrooms. Great. Dena wanted to stay.
After a few short hours we left. After I felt a deep desire to call Kingdom over this place. God's hope for the nations, God's will for His kids - that He may be glorified and honored in who we are. He wanted that for this place and I could feel that down to my jumping feet as I shared this with my friends walking back. We left after Dena was talking with us so loudly that simultaneously she was sharing her testimony with every person within ear shot. God loves the poor, the gay, the homeless, the trafficked, the workers, and the churched in Atlanta. Getting off of our couches and being in that bar just for one afternoon was A-mazing. I think it's one of the places Jesus would hang out.
After Atlanta we all went straight to our 20-somethings life-group that evening. What was planned was a continued study of the ten commandments. What happened was Church. We began calling out to God in worship and praise. I was beginning to get tired after an already spiritually loaded day but I couldn't get off this ride yet. I'd had solitude, a few hours of intercession, and now I got to minister to the Body of Christ. There was a new guy, a high schooler, named George. As we sang he shared a bit of his recent life story of how he came back to God. REDEMPTION was the word God gave me for him. That began the next hour and a half of prayer over him with words of life and truth and prophecy. I smiled when God told me to tell him that he was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. (I love prophecy...1 CORINTHIANS 14:1-3) In a way he is: Human with a ninja mix of the Holy Spirit. God was telling him that he's getting the gifts and weapons to fight the spiritual battles in this life. He's a fighter! More and more love and truth was spoken ever this young man's life. He affirmed to me that the Ninja Turtles thing hit right at home with him...he's got season four on DVD. God calls to us exactly where we are!!!
I left small group and made my way home...which brings me here at 130 in the morning. I mentioned in the beginning I hadn't felt this way in a long time. Not even on the Race do I remember soaking in moments like I did today. You want to know a secret...the World Race doesn't end in 11 months. It's the rest of your life...they just don't tell you that upfront. It's in the day to day. It's in the breathing in and breathing out of your daily life as a daughter or son of the King. Yea, a "trip" such as the World Race definitely helps put life in a Kingdom perspective but you can't live in a formatted spiritual high. Don't try.
LIVE in the present moment as a gift, LOVE fully and actively the people around you, and LEARN from God's heart a little more each day. That's what I've gotten since I've been back. The Race was great for me but also terribly hard and painful at times. So much so that I fear I may have given up too quickly and licked my own wounds too long...missing some chances to be fully spent for God's glory. But as it turns out God does not stop wanting to breath miracles through us after traveling around the world - as exotic as that sounds. No. It's about daily choosing in to LOVE, LIVE, and LEARN fully the greatness of ALL who God is, what He has to offer, and how He chooses to use us.
So whether a Racer is now selling phones, substitute teaching, job searching, getting married, or in China...we've learned that it is being spent for the cause of Christ that brings eternal and Kingdom gain! God use us!!
A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out up in Gainesville for a World Race weekend. The first night we all went out to dinner in the big family style. Those conversations within the Race family most times amaze me. Jake was explaining his experience of returning to the Race a second time as a squad leader. He said everyone goes on the Race to run away or avoid something. No matter what when you get home you have to face it. You can't run from it forever. For him it was finances. Seth was sitting next to me and asked, "So, what were you running from?" It took only a minute, "I loved God more than I loved people." He responded in his sometimes wise, old sageness, "Ah, a true monk."
I was afraid to be weak, afraid to me
I was afraid because I didn't want them to see
what's broken in me
But I guess I was wrong
should have known all along
when I am weak You are strong in me
Cause if they're afraid I stand too tall
They'll burn all the bridges and build a wall
But if they know I stumble
the walls might crumble down
Weak, Jason Gray
Fast forward a few days...I was spending time with the Lord one morning. "Read about the wall in Jericho." Oh, OK. I read how ridiculous it must have sounded to everyone but Joshua. Walk around the wall for 7 days and its going to come down? That's what God said to do. And I thought about the amazing things God wants to do with and through us if we just obey. Doesn't have to make sense. In a way it's better and brings God more alive in ones life when you say "yes" and don't have all the answers. "God, what do you want to do with me? Which walls are we gonna break down? Seven? What's special about the seven days? OK, I'm here what do we get to do?"
That night I snuggled in my bed. My heart was joyful after an evening spent with some great people at our Thursday small group. I spent some time talking with the Lord...talking with myself as well. Passing time, I thought, "Hmm, if I could have dinner with anyone, anyone, who would that be?" I thought for a moment and came with seven kinda quickly: Grandma, Carrie, Ashley, Evan, Maria, Mr. Sorrell, and Dad. It occurred to me that they all have something in common. I didn't choose it on purpose, but all of them are people in my life that I hardly if ever get to see and rarely talk to. There are walls. God, we're gonna break some down.
These were my seven. Still walking in a cautious obedience yet an excited passion I spent the next seven days for each of them. I spent each day in prayer simply waiting for what God was going to do with us. I made phone calls which brought some good conversations or time to catch up. I sent messages of hope and truth and love. I was trying my best. And to be honest my best isn't always that great.
During that week of the seven (and just daily in my life) I am beginning to realize my own limitations, weaknesses, and brokenness - more specifically in the way to truly love His people. And I CAN'T do it on my own. I can't. In my own jealousy and selfish-ambitions I am left with nothing to give to others. In fear I've held back. I've failed before and plan on failing in the future. MAN, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF GRACE!!! God loves supremely! He LOVES us so intimately and faithfully....AND desires that we love His people too. Woo Hoo!! He knows...dude, He created this LOVE! This crazy upside-down loving raises the dead, heals the sick, brings freedom to the captive, and spares time for a ragamuffin like me.
I saw some walls come down...at least in my life. Oh, I'm learning to love. It hurts. It's frustrating. It's dying to self and diving into grace. And I'm learning how it's unbelievably worth it...
In Christ Jesus freedom from fear empowers us to let go of the desire to appear good, so that we can move freely in the mystery of who we really are.
-Brennan Manning, Ragamuffin Gospel
**I had seen this guy while we were praying for Rosa. His eyes are stunning. God spoke. Discernment, and also David. I was thinking his name could be David but when I asked he said his name was Jared Alan. I encouraged him to pray into people and situations and God would give him holy and Kingdom eyes to see what others may miss. When others only see a Goliath Jared will see the bigger God that wins. Later he told me that his dad and brother were named David. His dad is a prayer leader in the church and his older brother is walking away from the Lord. What I was sharing with him confirmed some of what he had been talking about the night before. It was a blessing to share that with him. 
Miracles started when the storms of the morning let up and brought us sunshine for the afternoon. As we stepped off the MARTA and got into downtown God began leading my prayers. It started with a simple pray that God may unite and activate the churches to love the city they are in. We walked on and as I learned from the Race I was listening to my bladder. I had to go pee. Dena led us to a street she was familiar with that had a gay bar she knew of. In the mid-afternoon the bar/restaurant only had a few customers. They let us in free of charge to use the bathrooms. Great. Dena wanted to stay.
